Master Your Mind
Lisa Nichols
Lisa Nichols Speaking at Master Your Mind
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Special guest speaker Lisa Nichols is speaking at Master Your Mind, an original course by Peak Potentials.
Introduction by T Harv Eker
T Harv Eker: Please help me welcome Lisa Nichols!
Lisa Nichols
I love you guys! I love you! Wow. You guys are awesome! You are awesome! You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you are awesome! [Laughs] Alright. Come on, you guys. I got some love for you. Wow. Yay yay! You know, I thought I’d stop by and hang out with you guys for a while, is that alright?
Yes!
When my friend called me, I was like, “Absolutely. I would love to play on your playground because you have the most fabulous people on the planet playing with you, and I am in a season of giving myself the most fabulous people on the planet to play with.” Aren’t you?
Yes!
Aren’t you? It’s like, you know what? A friend of mine said, “You know, make a list of everyone in your life and put a plus next to the ones who really add value to you, put a minus next to the ones that drain you, and only hang out with the pluses.” How about that?
Yes!
You all are a plus in my book. You all are a plus in my book, yes? And a plus is someone who just adds to your being, you know what I mean? They add to the essence of who you are. So I’m excited to be here with you because it’s people like you who are changing the planet, and as a mother, as a family member, I love the fact that we have so many people working to change the planet for my family, for my son, for those who come beyond me, and so thank you for being change agents. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
[Applause]
You know, some of you have seen me on that video/DVD called The Secret, and so many times people come up and say, “Oh, you’re the secret lady!” I say, “Well, that was a great project, but there was life before The Secret, you know. I just didn’t know about it, with me.” So, people come up and say, “God, you know, I’ve watched The Secret so many times. I’ve seen you on The Secret 98 times.” Come on, tell the truth. How many guys watched it just a few times? You watched it a few times, right?
I was in Jamaica and someone said, “Oh, oh Lisa, I’ve seen The Secret 165 times.” I said, “Wow, you must have a really comfortable couch with a really deep butt print.” You know, I have to start by saying, you know, the law of attraction is powerful, and The Secret was an amazing piece of work to just raise the consciousness of so many people. But it’s really not a secret. Yes? You guys get that, right?
Yes!
It’s really not a secret. It’s the oldest conversation ever. What you think about, you bring about. It’s in the Bible. So a man thinketh, he is. What you ask for, believe in prayer, you shall receive. The Secret just put it in a palatable form where more people than ever can look at the same piece of tool and get what they need out of it. That's the genius.
The title The Secret was marketing genius, because you know how nosy we are. You say, “I got a secret,” and the first thing you wanna do is tell somebody or find out about it, right?
Yes!
My family, they follow my speaking career a little bit. It kind of runs into them. “Lisa, someone knows about you. I was at work and this girl knows that you’re a speaker.” I’m like, “Really.” For my family, the best thing I can do for them and only thing I can do is make sure that at Fourth of July and Christmas, I bring the peach cobbler. And that's great for me because it keeps my life in balance. You know, if my head ever got too big, go to my family, they’ll shrink it for me.
So they don’t really follow too much, which is great because with them I’m the baby cousin, you know, I’m auntie. I just get to do Lisa. I don’t have to analyze, philosophize, be profound, just be Lisa, super, super-silly with my family. And so when I went on Oprah, I came home and family were all around and they were like, “We are kind of upset with you, Lisa.” I said, “Why?” They said, “You been keeping secrets.” They hadn’t seen it yet. “What is the secret you have? You can tell us about the secret. We are not a family of secrets.” It’s like, “It’s a project, you guys.”
So, you know, one of the things that I found out is that so many people spend so much time looking at the life that they wanna have, right? Right? You’ve been looking at it for a while, right? You know what it looks like, right? You know what it looks like. Then, we spend time thinking about the life we wanna have. How many guys been thinking about life? You’re thinking. “I’m thinking and thinking, whoo, I’m thinking so much I got a headache.”
How many guys have talked to someone with a headache before? “Oh my God, my head is hurting.” And then there are those of you who really believe that you’re in action because you start talking about it. You start talking nervous about it. You even have discussion groups about it. I get email all the time, “We have a secret group going.” What you all talking about? “We’re talking about the thoughts.” So I always reply back with, “So when do you get in action?”
So, so many times people mistake thinking about something a lot to be in action. I used to. I would analyze it instead. How many guys are studiers? You’re just natural studiers, you love to study, you love to read, you love to edify, you take a lot of notes, you have a lot of journals. Yes? And then there are those of us who love to discuss it and talk about it and exchange views on it. How many of you are like that? “I love to discuss it.”
Sometimes, we can mistake those two actions for action. We can think that thinking, we can believe that talking, is action. Does that make sense? Because they feel good. We’re raising our consciousness. You know, I’ve been all over the world and everywhere I go it’s like, “You’re the secret lady! I watch you all the time!” And I love to follow with, “Okay, and then what do you do when you turn me off?”
Because that's what’s gonna make a difference in your life, is what you do when you turn me off. My job in The Secret and The Secret’s job was simply to elevate your consciousness. That's just a small part of a big picture. Then, there's action. What I love about you is that the fact that you’re here, ooh, you are in action. Whoo! You are in action.
And so what I wanna do today is I wanna spend some time with you and just add some more action steps to it. May I do that?
Yes!
Yes yes?
Yes!
I believe that when something feels good, you get to say yes. But when it feels really good, you get to say yes yes. Like when you say, “Honey, do I look good in this?” “Ooh, yes yes!” So when you feel like it, when you’re moved to, add an extra yes on that. Just watch how it feels. Yes yes. Try it.
Yes yes!
Yes, and say it from your soul. Yes yes.
Yes yes!
You can pause a little bit. You know I’m a sister-girl. You can yes, yes. Like that. Yes, and feel it in your fibers because remember, everything that we’re feeling we’re sending out that energy to the universe, right? And it’s sending something back to us that mirrors that feeling. So when you feel it from your soul, soulful things that feel good to your soul will come back to you. I meet the most amazing people on the planet because I come and I love from my soul, and so the universe says, “I’m gonna send you an example of who you’re being to love on you from their soul.”
So, today I’m gonna talk about business. I’ve built a multimillion-dollar company, and for me that's a pretty big accomplishment because, you know, I grew up here in Los Angeles and South Central, the park you guys probably saw on the news, and I lived between the Harlem Crip ‘30s and the Rollin’ ‘60s, and those are not cheerleading squads. And I had two to three fights a week to get home from school, and I was considered academically challenged. So the life I live today is the life I love and I design with intention. I designed it. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Yes yes?
Yes yes!
And so I believe that I am a walking, talking example. I’m always a student, but I’m a walking, talking example who chooses to be a teacher of what steps do we need to take to design the life we love and to live our destiny, to be our destiny and to be the legacy with intention? I believe that I’m qualified to teach that lesson because of my unique journey, and I believe that you’re the perfect person to receive the lesson and modify it and shift it and change it and grow it for you because of your unique journey. Do you agree?
Yes!
Yes yes?
Yes yes!
I believe that your past, your journey, perfectly prepares you for the greatness that's waiting for you. I believe that there are great things waiting for you that are like kids waiting for Double Dutch. Just waiting, “This is great.” They’re just waiting and saying, “Ooh, when he ready, ooh, when he get ready, ooh, when he work on that, ooh, I’m ready to bless him with abundance.” Yes yes?
Yes yes!
So give her everything she needs. And I got extras that she don’t even know about. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
I believe that our job is to be in action to prepare for that moment. I believe. I believe for some of you it’s right now. I believe that. I believe that you know that it’s right now. I believe that you know that you are late for whatever it is you call it your dream and your goal, that it’s time for you to get busy now. I believe that what you said you wanted you didn’t want just yesterday, you wanted that a long time ago and you realize it’s time to get it like now.
I believe now is the best time for you. Not later. Later won’t do for you because if so, you would have said, “I’ll come to this workshop later.” I believe that now is what you need. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
And I believe that if you do not satisfy the need to do it now, it will feel uncomfortable until you do it. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Some of you guys already know about the discomfort. Yes? Yes yes? It’s like when you play smaller than you’re supposed to play, when your soul’s trying to play big, your spirit’s trying to play big and your body’s going, “No, I’m a little scared,” it becomes mildly to moderately to significantly uncomfortable. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
You begin to feel like Godzilla in an apartment building. Yes yes? “Oh, it’s just a little cramped in here.” I believe that that’s when the universe lines up everything that bring you and me together.
My friends in The Secret said, “Okay Lisa, we have coined you The Breakthrough Specialist because when you can get a group of my friends together that I have and give them all a breakthrough, have them all crying and breaking through and standing up, and they thought that they really, you know, ‘My God, I didn’t realize that I had all that,’ and they’re the teachers in the industry, that's when you get called The Breakthrough Specialist.”
And so I came today to give a few breakthroughs. May I do that?
Yes!
May I do that? Did you say yes, Bill? Okay, good. Did you say it twice or once? Okay, there you go. Yes yes. You guys know I’m spicy, right?
Yes!
Yes yes? I come with a little cayenne pepper, yes yes?
Yes yes!
The afro kind of gave me away, yes yes? That's what you like, right? Yes yes?
Yes yes!
I don’t play in a box. I don’t fit in a box. I play in the universe. I don’t fit in a box. I tried that, been there, done that, got the t-shirt. It didn’t work. I realize that I have to define my destiny. I have to define my joy. I have to define my beauty. I have to define my greatness. I have to hold onto it, and then I have to show up and be willing to share it with you so that you can see what you wanna see in me, and in some small way, some big way, some ginormous way, you see a part of you in me.
I believe that that's what we’re supposed to do, that when we have that moment, you know that moment where your stomach kind of churns and the hair on the back of your neck and you get goose bumps, that's when my soul, the God in me, touched the God in you. And I believe that if I walk through life and you walk through life saying, “Let the God in me touch the God in you,” and then all of our differences will always be there but our likenesses will be what we choose to celebrate. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
So, I came here for someone, for some people. I came here. Now, our journey over the next couple of hours, I see your hands up, my journey over the next hour, an hour and a half or so, how much time I have with you, they’re gonna be those speed bumps, those moments we say, “Ooh, I love her message,” and other times you’re like, “Hm, I don’t know if I’m liking her right now. She done pushed me just a little bit too far.” Just know that in those moments I’m stretching you to not where you see yourself to be but where I hold the space for you to become. Just know that. Just know that.
So as we go forth, I’m gonna ask, say things, and if it relates to you I’m gonna ask you just to let me know, let your neighbors know, but most of all let yourself know. I believe that there's power in telling the truth out loud. I believe there's power in that. When I was on the Oprah Winfrey Show, did you guys see that?
Yes!
That was cool. That was real cool. I’m gonna tell you remind me to tell you the couch story, okay? Don’t let me leave the stage without telling the couch story, alright? So when I was on the Oprah Winfrey Show, and when I was caught, I realized that I had to do something I’d never done before, and that was tell the truth out loud, not in front of people who I’m connecting with face to face but through a camera.
And I know that my level of truth really sort of at times transcends and goes beyond a lot of my colleagues because I like to be extremely, disarmingly vulnerable. Because I believe that if I could tell the part of me that I normally would wanna hide and I make that okay, then something in me begins to liberate something in you, and everything you’ve been through becomes okay.
That's not always comfortable for me, I don’t always sign up, but it’s a calling and I simply said yes. And so today we’re gonna tell the truth out loud, because many times your mouth is saying something outside, “Yes, I would love to do that project. Absolutely. Sign me up.” And on the inside, that chatter, anybody know about that chatter? That chatter’s going, “No, no, no. Not me. Not me. Not us. No, no, no,” and so the conversation’s aren’t matching. Have you ever had that situation where the conversation didn’t match?
And so you feel out of integrity, you feel disconnected, you feel out of alignment, you feel like the authenticity isn’t coming through. There's a part of you that the world just doesn’t seem to get. You give them what you think they can handle, and everything else you keep into that little space by yourself, and then you have the feeling of being alone. Anyone know about that? atch what we go through today. Watch the journey we go on today. Watch how connected you feel to the people in this room today because you decided to tell your truth out loud.
So I’m gonna ask you, if I say something that resonates with you from this point forward, if you really connect with it I want you to raise one hand and say, “Lisa, that's me. I’m okay to tell my truth out loud. That's my truth. I’m okay with that.” If I say something that really connects with you like, “Whoa, that's so me. Woo-hoo, that's me,” I want you to what? Raise two hands. Try this. You guys see how that works? Your arms are not falling off? Everything’s good? Leave it there for a minute. Leave it there for a minute. He said we could wear deodorant. Wear that. Mm-hmm. Alright, put your hands down.
But if I say something and you’re like, “Oh, my stars. She just nailed me. Who told her? Who shared my business with her? Right now I feel so exposed.” You guys know that feeling, right, where you feel like, “Ooh, who told her?” Right? If that's the case for you, then I want you to raise two hands and stand up.
Try that. Look around the room. Look around the room. It’s working. It’s working. Look around the room. And I want you to keep it up, keep your hands up, keep it up, keep it up, keep standing. I want you to keep it like that while you look around the room because the number one reason why people feel depressed is because they feel what? Alone. The number one reason why people commit suicide is because they feel what?
Alone!
The one thing you will make sure you will get when you raise your hands and look around the room for whatever’s going on in your life is that you are so not what?
Alone!
Great. You can have a seat. So when you raise your hand, I want you not to raise your hand and put it down real fast because it’s not a baseball game. We’re not doing the wave. I want you to raise your hand and look around for the other hands that are in the room that resonate with you. I want you to feel your feeling inside you that you’re giving yourself permission to be who you are. “This is me and I’m bringing all of my journey with me. That's the only way, the best way, I can celebrate it. There's no part of my past that hasn’t prepared me for this moment.”
The number one reason why people don’t hold on to new success is because they haven’t let go of old issues. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Oh, you know I’m gonna go deep on you all, you know that, right? My whole space is not just to high five you and rah-rah and get you excited. I love that, but my journey as a breakthrough specialist, as your sister-friend, is I’m gonna take you back to some of those things that are holding you back, and together we’re gonna look at them, identify them and disempower them. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
That's the work. In my coaching programs, people say, “Oh my God, when I came out I felt like a new person.” I said, “Yeah, you released like 20 years of issues.” So that's what we’re gonna do. We’re not gonna get all of it done. I can’t get all of it done with you today, but I will invite you to play with me in other ways if you really, something resonates with you, you wanna keep the work going, and I would love to keep the work going with you. I would love to do that, so we’ll start it today. We’ll start it today.
So, a few of the things that we’re gonna do, so we raise our hands up, one hand up if it’s you, two hands up if it’s really you, two hands up and stand up if it’s so incredibly you, okay? You someone around whose hands are in the air, look at them and connect eye to eye with them. Just go and look around, connect eye to eye with someone because that's your sister, that's your brother, in that same issue. They’ve come through that journey with you. Does that make sense?
You’ll instantly begin to feel more connected without ever having to say a word. We think connecting comes with talking. Sometimes, you could connect with me better if you’ll be quiet. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Anybody feel like that? I know the husbands all raising their hands, a lot of them. “My wife can connect with me if she’d just be quiet.” Husbands are going, “I’m with you Lisa but I can’t raise it up high.” That's alright. I see you. I see you.
So, when we talk about being in action, what does being in action look like? We talk about feelings going out to the universe. There are so many conscious feelings that go out. “I wanna be happy. I’m happy. I’m happy. I’m happy.” But then there are these conversations going on behind that conversation. Every single conversation has a feeling that comes along with it.
So the first thing I love to do when I begin to move people to a breakthrough is I first have to ask you to find out where you are, the dot that says, “You are here.” When you go into the mall, let's say, Macy’s is having an 85%-off sale. Whoo! Everything! Even the stuff guys like. Whatever you like is on sale, alright? Eighty-five percent off.
And you’ve never been to this mall before, and so you walk into the mall, you identify where Macy’s is, and the first thing you have to look at is you have to find the kiosk that says what? “You are here.” Because if you don’t know where you are, then you don’t know how to get to where you wanna go, right? Most of the time, people wanna come in and say, “Show me how to get to success! Show me how to get to joy! Show me how to make a million dollars! Show me how to get to prosperity!” And I say, “Well, where are you starting from?” “Um, that's none of your business. But show me how to…!”
They really don’t want to discuss that. “I don’t wanna talk about that, Lisa. Come on, show me how to make those millions you’ve made.” I say, “What are we working with?” Let's look at your financial quadrant. Let's look at your emotional quadrant. Let's look at your relationship quadrant. Let's look at your health quadrant. Let's look at your spiritual quadrant. Because you can’t just have money and think it’s gonna make you happy, by the way. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
See, money can give you access to the things that may enhance your joy. Like last year, surfing in Maui with my son was fun. My finances gave me access to simply have a memorable moment with my child. But be clear; the relationship was just as important as the money that allowed me to enhance it. Does that make sense? Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Being at the Omni Hotel with my grandmother on my way to the Oprah Winfrey Show, and on my way out the door, I’m getting dressed, I’m like, “I’m about to go on the Oprah Show,” my grandmother said, “Yeah baby, but you didn’t make your bed.” Oh my God! It was great. I was like, “Ooh, I’m sorry. I got beside myself, grandma. I thought I was grown.”
It was those kinds of memories, do you know, that you take with you. It was climbing in the limo with my grandmother and Jack Canfield. My grandmother’s a simple woman from South L.A., right? She’s a grandmama, right? She’s just a grandma. And she wanted to let them know that she was, you know, she a traveler. So we get in the limousine, she says, “You know, Mr. Canfield, I am a traveler, too. I’ve been to Paris twice and not Paris, California.” He had no idea where that was coming from. He was like, “Okay.”
Those are memorable moments for me. Those are memorable moments, parasailing in Jamaica with my son, double parasailing and just being in God’s face with my boy. Finances give me access to that, but the relationship was what I was really wanting.
So, you gotta find the dot that says, “You are here.” Most people resist that part. It’s the part of my coaching most resist. “No, no, let's just talk about the other stuff.” No, let's talk about this and make it okay. I see your two hands up. I appreciate that, sis. Thank you. Tell the truth out loud. Keep your hands up and let someone see.
That's the hard part, because we think that if we look at it, all of a sudden we go back there. “I don’t wanna revisit it again.” You’re not, you’re here. You’re here looking at it and looking at its influence on you right now. You guys get that? You’re looking at it from where you are today. You are evolved, you are expanded and you’re just looking at it, and it no longer has the same power over you if you give yourself permission to look at it.
Woman, fully evolved. Man, fully evolved. And give yourself permission to say, “That had an influence on me and based on that, here’s where I am.” And so, thank you so much for two hands up. And I’m gonna advise you guys to put your hands up when I say something that—you know, I got some of my black woman come out—I’m gonna advise you guys, raise your hands because someone is sitting next to you going, “Oh, that's me, that's me, that's me,” and your truth will give them permission to tell their truth. Make sense?
I’m gonna have your head going a lot, so much so you’re gonna be like, “Whoa, that was deep,” and so you may forget to raise your hands. That's okay, just raise them whenever you feel like it. Raise it when it feels good.
So we’re gonna find the dot that says “you are here” because that's important in order for us to get to where you wanna go. See if you guys all came to a community that I knew about but you didn’t know about and you said, “Oh my God, Lisa I’m trying to get to Crenshaw and I’ve gotten lost. I’m trying to get to where you are. I’m lost. I’m trying to get over to the Westin Hotel. I’m trying to get to the Crenshaw.”
And I say, “Well, where was your starting point? Where are you at right now?” “I don’t wanna tell you where I am. Can you just help me get to where you are? Can you give me a hint? No, I don’t. Can I be discreet with that?” I’m gonna say I can’t tell you how to get here until you tell me what? Where you are. So the great thing about today is that you don’t necessarily tell me but I do want you to know for your yourself. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
And then when you’re ready, the perfect person will show up and you’ll be ready to share that and be in growth. So, today we’re gonna take your pulse on where you are today, this moment, right here. Is that okay? So the first thing I wanna have you do is, now there are some parts where it’s gonna be easy to take notes and other parts where you’re going to just be in experience and it’s not about the notes, it’s about the experience, because you will remember it all in your heart. Promise you. Promise you.
So, the first piece is to take your emotional pulse, to find out how you feel, find out what’s up for you right now, what’s going on for you right now, because there are many things. You came in here busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, you so busy, you don’t know what you’re busy being busy with. Yes yes?
Yes!
Because busy people do stuff like this, right? If someone asked you to go out to lunch next month, you will pop out your schedule. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Because you’re busy. So, sometimes we get so busy we forget to take our pulse on how we feel about what we’re busy being busy with. And yet even though you forget to take inventory and take your pulse on how you feel, you’re still sending out those feelings to the universe. So, many of you walked in here, and as much as you’re excited about this program, you walked in here overwhelmed because of all those things that are on your plate. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Yes, look at the hands that are up. Look at the hands that are up. Look at the hands that are up. So, the universe will keep sending you things to confirm overwhelm, so you can get new projects because you are sending out a feeling of overwhelm, so the universe said, “Well, then, let me keep him in overwhelm. You placed your order. Here you go.” Yes yes?
Yes yes!
And then you say, “Why do people always call me and ask me to join their projects?” Because you always say yes. So let's check on how we feel about what’s going on for us right now. So the question I’m gonna have you, don’t get it yet, I’m gonna have you ask is, “What’s up for you right now?”
“What’s up for you right now?” So this first exercise we’re gonna do is we’re just gonna check in. I just want you to get grounded, place your feet on the ground and just get connected. You came in with anticipation, you were excited, and so you brought all this stuff with you, you really looked at what all you’re bringing with you, right?
So, I want you to just get grounded. I want you to open yourself up. I want you to repeat after me. Take a deep breath. “I am open…”
I am open…
“…to receive…”
…to receive…
“…the exact…”
…the exact…
“…message…”
…message…
“…that's for me.”
…that’s for me.
“It will come…”
It will come…
“…from others…”
…from others…
“…and it will come…”
…and it will come…
“…through me.”
…through me.
“I will connect…”
I will connect…
“…with my feelings.”
…with my feelings.
“I will honor them.”
I will honor them.
“I will celebrate them.”
I will celebrate them.
“I will embrace them.”
I will embrace them.
“The feelings…”
The feelings…
“...that don’t serve me…”
…that don’t serve me…
“…I will move through them.”
I will move through them.
“I am…”
I am…
“…built to last.”
…built to last.
[Applause]
Yes yes? Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Yes yes?
Yes yes!
I want you to grab a partner that you haven’t had. Listen, on the count of three, I’m gonna have you grab a partner that you haven’t had. You’re gonna move a little bit, okay? Is that okay with you guys?
Yes!
If the staff would help me make sure everyone that doesn’t have a partner has a partner so we can move on. We got some goods to take care of. If you’re standing and you’re comfortable, please continue to stand, but if you wanna sit down, guaranteed there are two seats available because you were sitting somewhere. There are two seats available somewhere.
Alright. So this next piece is designed to just sort of get you centered. Your life is like a merry-go-round, and you’re on it and you’re going. It’s going fast. It’s going fast, 50 miles, 50 miles, 75, 80 miles. And you don’t see all the stuff that's over there because you’re on this side just holding on for dear life.
You know, when I came off the Oprah Winfrey Show, and then off the Larry King Show and off Starting Over, you know I started jokingly saying when people said, “How are you doing?” I said, “Mm-hmm, got two seatbelts on. Trying to keep up with myself.” You know? Sometimes when you’re moving so fast, you don’t get to look at all the things that you’re busy with, yes? So we’re gonna take a moment to look at that, and then more than anything see how you feel about it.
So, the question that your partner is gonna ask you is, “What’s up for you right now?” Just, “What’s up for you right now?” And the question is not to be answered for the moment in the workshop. It’s not in this conference. It’s life. “What’s up for you right now?” Not just business. Your family, your children, your parents, your siblings. Not just family. Your health, how are you feeling? Your spirituality. How’s your comfort? Are you holding on too tight to everything, thinking you’re really running your life versus a higher power?
“I don’t know.” Any hands going up? “I don’t know.” I always say, “God says, ‘Lisa, if you ever let me get in the driver’s seat, I can do this right.” Like I’m in the driver’s seat driving, “God, I’ll get back with you later. Let me drive this. Let me do this. Let me do this.” And then I see a wall and go, “Ooh, God, can you handle that? I think that's a wall.” Anyone like that? I see you, brother. I see two hands up and standing up.
So, where are you in your life right now? As it relates to all of those things, speak to the totality of you, okay? So, do we have a mic that someone can, do we have a mic? Right there, Denise, if you could—Denise is my boss. I hired her to be my boss. Denise is my CEO. She keeps me in order. So Denise, if you would ask me, you guys are gonna go back and forth and A is gonna ask B, and B is gonna ask A, and you’re just gonna answer. Whatever comes up, let it come out. Our job is to tell the truth out loud and let that be okay.
So Denise is gonna ask me, “What’s up for you right now?” and I’m gonna tell the truth out loud, so you all just hold on. I’m not speaking as The Secret lady, I’m not speaking as The Chicken Soup lady, I’m speaking as Lisa the woman, okay?
Lisa, what’s up for you right now?
I’m very excited because I have been honoring my body and not allowing anything to take over my personal time for working out and training and dancing and having fun, and it feels good to just have my Lisa time.
Lisa, what’s up for you right now?
I’m in a season where I have to say no a lot, to a lot of projects, and I love saying yes, so I’m having to learn how to preserve me and how no doesn’t mean I don’t care. No just means there's only 24 hours in my day, so I’m learning the relationship to no and how I need to use it more. Feel free to raise your hands. One, two, stand up, bless you. Look around if your hand is up. Look around. Look around to see that you’re what? Not alone.
Lisa, what’s up for you right now?
Whoo! Yeah. Yeah. So after successfully keeping myself single for six years because I gave the excuse that I’m too busy, yeah, I have made myself d-d-d-dateable, and I’m d-d-d-d-d-dating, and I’m enjoying seeing myself the evolved woman, comfortable with self, allow someone else in their space. I’m enjoying seeing that.
[Applause]
I am enjoying honoring the fact that I love relationship on every level and being honest about that and not making up for it or trying to Band-Aid it or trying to hide it, but just acknowledging it and being woman inside of a relationship.
[Applause]
She’s like, “Yes, Lisa, yes!” So what’s up for you right now? On whatever level, what’s up for you right now? A, you’ll be the person with the darkest pants on. If you have the same color pants, you’re the person that, y’all wear black? You’re the person with the darkest shirt on. If you wear the same color shirt, you’re the person with the darkest shoes on. If you’re dressed alike, I’m done. Y’all figure it out.
A, you’re gonna ask B repeatedly, “What’s up for you right now?” Now, here’s the agreement. Please don’t respond, B, “Ooh, yeah, that's me too!” You’ll get your turn. Just receive. And also, we wanna make it a safe space, okay, agree? There’ll be no judgment. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
No repercussions. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
And unconditional love, yes yes?
Yes yes!
Okay, that’s what your partner needs. That's what they deserve. That's what you want. So give it to them and they’ll give it to you. So, no judgment means when your partner tells you something like really bizarre, like, “You know, when I’m in the shower, you know, I like, pluck my eyebrows with my fingers,” or something really weird, don’t go like this, “Hm? Mm-mm. Ooh. Ooh.” [Chuckles] That feels like judgment, so just hold the space, “Mmm, alright. Alright. Hmm.” Alright? Just show love. Show love, okay?
So, A, ask B, “What’s up for you right now? What’s up for you right now?” Whatever comes up, let it come out. Those of you who are fixers, servers, you wanna fix everything, yes? Whatever they say, love them and leave them with it. It is not your job to add their life to your things-to-do list. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Just love them and just say, “Ooh, I get to love you through that and leave that with you,” [chuckling] without saying it. Does that make sense? So you don’t take it on, okay? Because some of you guys will take it all on, “I wanna help her. I wanna take you home with me.” No. Love them and leave them right there. Yes? Does that feel good?
Yes!
A, “What’s up for you right now?” to B repeatedly, ready, and go. Margaret.
[Audience members talking]
Five seconds, begin to wrap up. Wrap up that last thought. Aaaand, stop. Go back in the other direction. “What’s up for you right now?” Ready, and begin.
[Audience members talking]
Thank your partner with a high five, hug, handshake, whatever you wanna do. Don’t move, though. You’re gonna keep that partner. Don’t move. That's your new best friend. Stay right there. Stay right there, though.
Alright. Eyes and ears on me, please. I wanna keep you going. So, did you feel the feelings that came as you spoke about the things you’re busy with? Yes yes?
Yes yes!
You felt them. They were real. Those are real feelings, and all the time they’re just kind of back there because you’re not focusing on those things at the time. But when you look around this room, what do you see when you look around this room? You see people. You see what? You see awesome people. What else do you see? Think of some other tangibles. You see a stage. Yeah? Right? But what are some of the real things you see? Lights, flowers. I could keep going for a while and very few people will say, “I see like the beige off-white paint on the wall.” You just won’t say that, but yet it’s there.
That's how your feelings are. They’re not the first thing you get, but they’re influencing everything. If the color of these walls were green, they’d influence this room. Yes? If they were purple, they’d influence the room. But it’s the backdrop, it’s the things behind the things. You won’t ever look at it first. You guys were going on a list of all the things you see before you say, “I see the paint on the wall.”
And your feelings are like that, they’re right there just hanging around. And so I wanna bring it to the forefront so that you know what you’re working with, because what you’re working with is bringing you the results that you’re getting. Does that make sense? And there are some areas that you’ve really nailed it, and there are some areas that are still working to be manifested in the way you want, correct?
So let's look at, what does that paint on the wall look like for that? Let's bring it from here to here, from the unconscious to the conscious. I want you to know about it, okay? Those feelings you just had, what’s up for you right now, those are real things. I couldn’t let you go for another minute or so, right? For some of you guys, I know, five minutes. It’s like, “I was just on a roll. Why you saying stop now?”
Because I told you I’m gonna give you snippet. We’re gonna tap on a few things today because I really wanna give you a sample of a few things. May I do that? Instead of going long on one thing, I wanna jumpstart you in several areas all around total wellness, all around bringing every quadrant of your life forward simultaneously so that you have no regrets. You have no regrets. You have no regrets. And so that's what we’re gonna work with, but I’m going to give a little bit.
So the next thing I wanna do with you is, we live in a society where we give opinions all the time. “Ooh, you know what I think about that? You know what my opinion is? Let me tell you what I would do there.” Don’t you wish sometimes it can be politically correct to say, “You know what, I don’t wanna know your opinion.”
“You know what I think?” “As a matter of fact, no.” “You wanna know what I think?” “As a matter of fact, no.” Yes? [Laughing] “You know what I would do if I were you?” “But you’re not.” Whoo, that's that menace little girl in me. She’ll never go away. I want her to go everywhere with me. That free spirit.
It’s like, “You know what, how about we not talk about our opinions so much? How about we not analyze each other so much? Because you’re analyzing me, your thoughts about me are not what drives me. It’s my feelings about myself that drive me.” And so feelings are like the paint on the wall. Your feelings form your behaviors, your behaviors influence your actions, and your actions manifest your life’s reality. Get that?
So instead of talking about your actions or your life, how about we go all the way back over here? People say, “Lisa, what are steps one, two, three?” Everyone’s gonna give you steps one, two, three but Lisa Nichols is gonna give you zero. How about that? You know? How about that? How about that?
I’m not gonna tell you what to do once you jump out of bed. I’m gonna tell you, how are you feeling when you’re lying in bed? Do you know what I mean? What energy did you climb out of bed with? That's what I wanna work with you on. So let's work on zero, the dot. Zero. There's a reason why zero, the dot, is a zero. There's a reason, for that.
So, how do you feel about everything that you’re doing? We just identified what you’re doing, what you’re busy being busy being busy with. Yes yes? So now, how do you feel about that? What feelings come up while you’re right here, while your dot is here? What are those feelings?
I want you to remember this moment, remember this time that we’re here, because you’ll memorialize the feelings you had here so that as we move you forward and give you breakthroughs, you’ll remember that day, “Oh, that's where I was then. That's where I was, and this is where I am.” Okay?
So the sentence stem that you’re gonna complete now, you were asking the question before, now you’re gonna complete a sentence stem. The sentence stem you’re gonna complete is, “Sometimes, I feel.” Sometimes, I feel. Now, what we’re doing in this space is making it okay. Say, “It’s okay…”
It’s okay…
“…to feel how I feel.”
…to feel how I feel.
“My feelings…”
My feelings…
“…are neither right…”
…are neither right…
“…nor wrong.”
…nor wrong.
“They’re just real.”
They’re just real.
“And they’re mine.”
And they’re mine.
[Breathes deeply] Breathe that. “And they only mean…”
And they only mean…
“…what I make them mean.”
…what I make them mean.
[Breathes deeply] You guys get that? I want you to get so much today, by the end of this session you will get, “Oh, that pen that's being held to write my life that at times I felt someone else was holding that pen, writing my outcomes, the people that betrayed me, the people that didn’t show up, the people that walked out, the people that lie, the people that won’t let me in the door, they’re writing my destiny, I realize today that that pen is being held by me, by me, and the reality is I cannot erase my yesterday but I can write my tomorrow. I can write my tomorrow any way I’d like to write my tomorrow. It’s my pen in my hand, and it’s my life.” Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Yes yes?
Yes yes!
“And my past does not equal my future.” Yes yes?
Yes yes!
“And I am the perfect person for this journey. I’m the perfect person to do what I do. No one can do it quite like me. I’m perfect for it.” Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Hey. Alright. Ooh, this feels good, huh? I got goosebumps. You good? You good? You good? You good? Tracy, you good? Mark, can I borrow your watch? Yes. I’m gonna get a new watch out of this. No. No, no, no. I need your second hand so that I can time you. Thank you so much, my friend.
So, on this one, it’ll be “sometimes I feel,” so allow the feelings just to come up and come to you, anything. And don’t just try to stay all in the gray. “Sometimes I feel wonderful! Sometimes I feel great! Sometimes I feel fabulous! Sometimes I feel awesome!” That's fine, but also make sure you give yourself balance and tell the truth out loud, because we could only work with what you put on the table to work with. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
So don’t hold back because “I don’t wanna seem,” because when you say “I don’t wanna seem,” you’re getting caught up and wondering about someone else’s perception of you, and guess what? Other people’s perception of you really isn’t any of your business. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Your perception of me is none of my business. It’s your perception, not mine, and really has nothing to do with my reality. And that's not in a mean way. You guys get that? “So why am I caught up in your perception of me? Love you, too, whatever you think.” How about that?
So, “sometimes I feel,” just tell the truth. I see your hands up. Look around. See the hands up. Yes. So how many of you have played small or hesitated because you’re afraid of what someone else might think of you? Look around the room. Look around the room.
“I don’t know what they’re gonna think if I step out and do my dream. I don’t know what they’re gonna think if I say no because I really wanna say no. I don’t know what they’ll think if I say this relationship is done. I don’t know what they’ll think if I say I’m lonely, I want a relationship. I don’t know what they’ll think if I say I’m scared out loud. I don’t know what they’ll think.”
Look at all the people around wondering the same thing. And I love it when you look at someone and say, “Ooh, I thought she had no issues. Ooh, I don’t think he ever got doubt for forever.” I love it when, you know, reality and truth bust my little perception bubble. Yes, thank you. Put your hands down. Have a seat.
So now, let's just expose the truth. “Sometimes I feel.” So Denise will be my partner, and we’re go back and forth this time, so you and your partner are gonna go back and forth with “sometimes I feel.” I’ll go first. And remember, raise your hands, two hands up, stand up, whatever’s true for you if I say something or Denise says something that resonates with you.
Sometimes I feel like I keep myself in overwhelm by keeping all these things on my plate, but I do it. Thank you.
Sometimes I feel justified in not making my family a priority because I’m working too hard.
Sometimes I feel that people mistake my kindness for weakness. Sometimes I feel that they make a mistake, and I’m willing to help them get clear. Yes, Joe, I see you. [Chuckles]
Sometimes I say yes when in my heart I really mean no.
Sometimes I feel that I have to be one of the most blessed people on the planet to have made so many huge mistakes, and God still uses me the way God still uses me. I’m like, “Man, I’m in like Flynn! God got my back. Yeah.” Thank you. Thank you.
So, whatever you feel. Whatever you feel. Because you’re feeling it anyway, do you know? You’re feeling it whether you acknowledge it or not. It’s like that paint on the wall. It doesn’t go away if we stop looking at the paint. It’s still there, influencing everything else.
Have you ever felt overwhelmed and frustrated with someone but you never mentioned it over a period of time, and then they did one thing, it could have been a small thing, and you just let loose on them? “And another thing, and another thing!” Yes, anyone did that? And you go way back, and it like, “Whoa!” right? The feeling was always there, you just didn’t speak to it until it became too big to ignore, and you could have resolved it at a pebble but at the mountain, boy, the mountain was hard to get over. Yes? Yes.
Most of the time when we have a difficulty with someone, it’s just a speed bump, and when we don’t address it, it becomes a mountain. And then when we don’t address it, it becomes a stop sign and the relationship is over. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
So the number one thing that I help people to get breakthroughs through in the coaching is those relationships. Not that they go back to them, they just find peace with wherever it is now because the relationship stopped too soon or was disrupted too soon. And it was because somewhere in that relay, we had a feeling that we stopped expressing. We didn’t quite know how, we didn’t give ourselves permission in the moment to say, “You know what, I need you to talk to me.”
And then, when we give ourselves permission to say, “Honey, I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what talk means. I think I’m talking.” Then, we didn’t give ourselves permission to say, “Can we learn how to talk to together?” Because we think we’re grown, so since we’re grown, we think we have to know how to do it. See, but you get to 25 and 30 whether you know what you’re doing or not, right? Right? So the sooner you say, “I don’t know what I’m doing,” the sooner you can find out. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
So, I see you sister with your two hands up. I see you sister with your two hands up. So, “sometimes I feel.” How are you feeling right now? What’s your dot? And know that you have the most perfect partner on the planet to hold the compassion and the space with you on however you’re feeling. So B, you’re gonna go first this time. The sentence is, “Sometimes, I feel.” And then A, you’re gonna go, and then B, you’re gonna go. “Sometimes, I feel. Sometimes, I feel. Sometimes, I feel.” Ready, and begin.
[Audience members talking]
Okay, so now, I wanna take you guys through a couple of things, so you can go back to your original seats or something close to it or something. You can stay where you are. You can do whatever. We’re gonna keep doing some things.
[Pauses]
Yes, yes. Do you feel connected to the people around you? Do you feel that? Do you feel how “I’m a part of a culture of humanity, of society, I am one of many, I am a thread in the tapestry weaving through the thing called life, and I have company along the way?” Yes yes?
Yes yes!
“And it is okay to be exactly where I am, and I know exactly where I wanna go.” Yes. And it will be bigger and better than you thought. See, when I had my vision, it’s amazing about visioning, and I set my vision board up, I was in Jamaica with my girls, and I said, “I’m gonna do my vision board.” And I, you know I’m the organizer. I’m like, “Everyone, bring magazines. We’re gonna do vision boards.”
So we all did vision boards, and I said, “I wanna live by the beach.” I said, “I wanna begin to step into my health in a greater way.” I said, “I want to increase my business at least 150% in a year.” I said, “I want to,” in the center it said, if you saw Oprah, it said, “Lisa tells all on the Oprah Winfrey Show.” That's what it said, and I tell you you gotta be really careful about what you…
[Audience laughing]
I get the phone call, and I answer the phone—can I have a chair up here? Because I gotta do my dramatization. I’m a drama queen. I gotta do it. Can I get a chair up here, someone? No, no, no. It has to be one like this. Like this. Thank you. I just get the handsome men to help me, you all know. I don’t want that chair. That chair’s not fun. It doesn’t come with a man. No. I’m joking. [Laughing] Thank you, Rodney. I appreciate it.
So, I get a phone call and I said, “Hi, this is Lisa.” It was one of those days. I was tired. It was early in the morning. I said, “Hi, this is Lisa.” Just kind of, “Hi, this is Lisa.” Says, “Hello, this is Harpo Inc.” This is what I said, “Harpo…Harpo…” You know how you have an idea? Because in my mind, I was gonna be on the Tyra Banks Show first. Or, you know, I would go back and I do Starting Over again, and I do that a few times, or I’d be on, I don’t know, someone else’s show, Morrie, and then, I would get to Oprah.
I’m gonna show you how the universe loves us so much that when you’re firing off everything, your thought, your belief and your action, you can’t hold the blessings that are on their way to you, that are waiting like Double Dutch for you. So I get the call, I said, “Harpo…Harpo…” because in my head I wouldn’t be, you know. I said, “Harpo. Harpo who?”
I tell you, when I mess up, I mess up good. And the woman on the other end of the line, you could tell she kind of chuckled and took a deep breath, she said, “Op-rah.” I said, “Oh, oh,” and then I tried to change my voice to my professional voice. “Good morning, how are you doing?” It was too late. It was too late.
Have you ever had something gnaw at you, whether it be a past experience, whether it be something, and you can’t seem to let it go, and not letting it go hinders you and kind of interrupts you and kind of stands in the way? Yeah, those are the ones, you are the ones that I love to work with. I love to work with you. You are my community. You are my people. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
So let me tell you. Now, I’m gonna have you guys laughing at me because I just, I get stuck good. So, I get the call, we do the interview, Oprah’s team asked me to come out, we plan the day, we come out, you know I brought my grandmother, and I can’t wait to go onstage because I have envisioned my conversation with Oprah for years. I’ve had a thousand conversations with her.
We sat on that cream leather couch and we just chatted up a storm. And I’ve had thousands of conversations with her, she just hasn’t been a part of any yet, right? So—I see you, brother. I see your two hands up. So I’m excited to get here and actually physically have that conversation, to sit on that leather couch. But this is weird, so it doesn’t make any sense, don’t ask me why later, I don’t know why about what I’m about to tell you, okay?
You know you have these quirky little things and you just, just tell the truth, yes? We have quirky little things. Thank you! We have quirky little things about us. I don’t know why I wanted to do this, but I just envisioned myself sitting on Oprah’s couch and talking to her and smelling her leather. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know why. I just wanted to know what Oprah’s leather smelled like.
I don’t know, so I would be sitting next to her and I have this envisioned for a long time, ever since she got the cream leather, I know exactly when she changed her stage. I said, “Ooh, I wanna smell that couch.” And so I’d be sitting and talking to her and I’d go, [smelling imaginary couch] “Go ahead Oprah, finish what you’re saying. No girl, I’m listening to you.”
So when I get there I’m super-excited because I’m gonna talk to Oprah…and smell the couch, right? So I walk out, you know Jack and Reverend Beckwith and James Ray and Rhonda, everyone walks out, and I was the last one to walk out because of course you know me, I get all mic’d up and then I have to go to the bathroom. So I’m in there going, “Don’t drop Oprah’s mic in the toilet.” So, I was, I’m telling you. That's a whole lot of information, right?
So I walk out and I’m excited, and I walk out and I go: They had five stools. Right? Like that. I was like, “Whoa, whoa, wait,” in my head. On the outside, I was like, “Hi.” In my head, I was like, “What is going on? Where is the couch?” So I’m sitting down on the front row going, “Where is the couch? Is it behind the curtain?”
So the whole time, I kid you not, the whole time I’m on the Oprah Show. Have you ever been in the middle of a blessing and you didn’t get all of it because you were stuck on something else? Yes yes? Let me know I’m not alone. Let me know I’m not alone. You couldn’t get the whole blessing because you got stuck on a little-bitty, a piece. Do you know? Yes? Yes yes?
Yes yes!
You know there's a lesson in every story I share, right? I’m the Chicken Soup lady. So I’m sitting there on the Oprah Show, looking for the cream couch. So we did this fabulous show, we did the after show, it was wonderful, and I’m so stuck on this, I’m walking off the show and I ask the stage manager, “Um, where’s your prop room?” How many of you really get stuck good? And you can mask stuff because you’re successful enough. You know, you’re a linguistic specialist. You can, you know, massage the words so that people don’t know you’re really stuck. You just think that you’re processing, right? Right?
So they didn’t show me the prop room, so I have this like incomplete. Incomplete, so I’m like, “I never saw the couch.” Now, I was with Oprah, hugged, talked, laughed, and I feel incomplete because I didn’t get the couch.
So you know how the universe sometimes is trying to give you something so huge that you can’t even see it? That's where you guys are right now in your season. That's why I was called to come here and be here with you, because there's something so huge waiting on you that you have to release some other things in order for it to come in your space. Do you get that? Do you get that? Do you get that? Yes! Yes! That it is huge and it is waiting on you to create the space in your possibility, way of thinking, in your mind, in your heart, for you to let go of something you’ve been holding on to because the blessing that's on its way can’t even fit in your hands right now? Do you guys get, you get that?
So I just gotta tell you. I leave the Oprah Winfrey Show, I see you sis, I leave the Oprah Winfrey Show, and I get a call after the Larry King Show, I get a call from Telepictures, and they said, “We’d like to talk to you.” And I went in and I said, “Okay, what would you like to talk to me about?” They say, “Well, we’d like for you to do a show.” I said, “What kind of show?” “Oh, a show of your own.” “What kind of show on my own?” “We’d like you to do a one-hour inspirational daily television show, Lisa.”
I’m like, “Whoa. Okay.” And they said, “What would you do?” I said, “I’d do me.” And they said, “Well, you know, so many people are drawn to you. I mean, everyone at the television station, when you were on Oprah, they’re really drawn to you. Some people think you’re the next Oprah.” I said, “Oh no, I’ll never be the next Oprah. I will never, ever do Oprah well. I will always fail you if you expect me to do Oprah. But I do a real good Lisa. I do a really good Lisa. I can do her really well.”
So I had to make it really clear with them from the very beginning, I will do Lisa, and if we like Lisa then we can play. And they said, “We like Lisa. We wanna play with you.” I said, “Okay.” I said, “I’m on my way to South Africa to do some work in South Africa. When I come back, we can continue talking.” I said, “But talk to my attorneys in the meantime.” By the time I got back with them 36 hours of landing back in the States, they called me back to Telepictures. They had four contracts each this big with zeroes and zeroes and zeroes across the board, and all of a sudden I looked up and they had a mock of the stage, and I was like, “Whoa.”
So, six weeks later from that, the stage is built. I walk out, I walk out on the stage, and all the directors are saying, “Lisa, what do you think about this? Lisa, what do you think about this? Lisa, what do you think about this? Lisa, what do you think about this?” And I look over, and on top of this beautiful wooden circle stage was a cream leather couch. Yes yes? Yes yes?
Wait. So, I said, “Excuse me, excuse me. Could you guys just give me a second? Give me a second.” [Sitting on chair and smelling imaginary couch] And what spoke into my heart at that moment—and I’ve been just drawn to tell you this, because I didn’t expect to tell you this story today—what spoke into my heart at that time, God said, “You’ve been steady watching someone else’s success. You wanted to sit on her couch, and I was planning to give you your own.” Yes yes? Yes yes? Yes yes! Yes yes? Yes yes! Yes yes! Yes yes! Yes yes!
What is it for you? Where is yours? Where is yours? We live in an abundant universe. We live in an abundant universe. There is enough. There's more than enough. You can’t hold, can’t handle, can’t embrace all that's waiting on you. But you have to give yourself permission to receive it.
Earlier, Harv was talking about how it’s what you think. You create your reality through your thoughts. And if you say you’re gonna win, you are right. If you say you’re a victim, you are right. What conversation are you choosing to have? And so I had to expand my belief. I had to move away from a limiting belief that said, “I couldn’t go to Oprah first,” and then a limiting belief that said, “Oh, the cream leather couch, that wasn’t gonna be mine.”
See I had to give myself permission to think that big. You have to give yourself permission to think that big, and normally—I see your two hands up. Somebody’s gonna tell the truth out loud, two hands up and stand up. Someone needs to put two hands up and a leg up. We need to be willing to give ourselves permission for the things we say we want.
It sounds good. It’s great lip service. It’s sexy. It feels good. But on the inside somewhere we’re still saying, “Could I? Should I? What would I do if I really got it? Oh my God, it might just happen! Lord, what if the person show up then I say won’t? Then, what am I gonna do?” Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Look around the room. Look around the room if your hands are up. Look around the room. And what do you tell somebody? You what? You’re not alone. You’re not alone. Tell someone with their hands up that you’re not alone. Alright. Great. Have a seat. Have a seat.
And so, the one thing I wanna do, one other thing I wanna do is I wanna begin to work on our limiting beliefs. We talked about how, what’s up for you right now, you guys got to see what was going on. And then we talked about how you feel about what’s up with you right now, you got to see the energy that you’re sending out to the universe that's coming back to you and mirroring. Now, let's begin to look at what are some of the limiting beliefs. What are some of the limiting beliefs that I’m holding on to that I may not even be conscious of? Yes?
I call it exposing the lies. Exposing the lies, because they only have the truth that we gave to them, that's it. Nothing else. And you know, I realize that a thought pattern that you have for a long time becomes a belief system. But it’s not necessarily the truth. It’s just a thought pattern that you’ve had for a very long time. You guys realize that? You’ve had this thought for so long you’ve made it your belief. And you’ve made it your belief for so long that you’ve made it your truth. You’ve made it your truth for so long that it now has created your reality. Yes yes? Yes, I’m the one, huh? She’s like waving, “I’m the one!”
So one of the things we begin to do is look at what does that look like, where did that thought come from? And don’t go back in a space of blame, but where did it originate? Where did it start? Let me go to the root. Yeah, most people remember. And it’s not yesterday, it’s not last year. It’s something way back in your teen years, way back in your childhood, way back in your early—so it’s something back there, you made a decision. You decided this is who I am, this is what I deserve, this is what I don’t deserve.
So be it, and for the next 20 years you lived that truth out. Make sense? Yeah, just 20, right? Thirty, 40... Right. So can we expose that? Now, this is some scrub work. This is doing some nitty-gritty work. Can we do that? Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Okay. Grab a piece of paper, and if you need a piece of paper, I think we have runners, we have staff. You need a piece of paper, raise your hand. Grab a piece of paper. If you need a piece of paper, raise your hand. There's someone right over here to this far side that need some paper. Staff, can you help them? Someone in the back that need some paper. In the front.
Now, the first thing I want you to write down is, what’s the limiting belief? Let me give an example. The limiting belief will say something like, “I’m not good enough.” It will say something like, “I don’t deserve true love.” “People that look like me aren’t successful.” “Money doesn’t grow on trees and I’ll never have enough.”
Whatever the limiting belief is that's standing between you and what you call peace of mind and joy. Whatever that is. I know some of you wanna give me all of them. Just give me one for now. Just give me one for now. [Chuckling] Give me the one that really, when we work on that, when we create a breakthrough with that one, we’ve created a big one. Do you need a piece of paper? Ask a question? No, oh no, no. Wait. I just want you to write. I wanna hold the space for writing right now, okay? Okay?
I’ll give you guys about 10 more seconds to write down that belief, the belief that, it may go back from childhood, come from a parent. You know, we’re handed down belief systems. We’re handed down belief systems in the form of religion. We’re handed down belief systems in the form of culture. We’re handed down belief systems in the form of geographical location. We’re handed down all types of belief systems, all through our families. It doesn’t necessarily make any sense, but we take them on because the people we love gave them to us. Yes? You guys get that? And when our life outgrows it, we outgrow it, we take the belief system with us. Yes?
For me, one of my first limiting belief systems that I worked through and I had a breakthrough and I overcame was that people look like me, African Americans that were born in poor communities, there’s no way that we would receive wealth. If you’ve had a belief system around money that you won’t have money, that you won’t get money, that you won’t make money, people like you, whatever the story is, raise your hand, one hand, two hands, two hands and stand up if that's you, based on the level that that belief system has limited you. Right. Look around so that you see that what? That you’re what? Look at someone else who’s held that belief system.
Thank you so much. Put your hands down. That means no matter what you do, financial success, financial freedom, will successfully elude you because even if you get close enough to it, you’ll actually stop. It’s not running. You just stop. Because you’ve told yourself, “I won’t touch it.” So something has to show up to sabotage it so you can make your belief system true. You don’t wanna be wrong in your own belief system because then you’d think you’re crazy. You don’t wanna be crazy. Yes? You guys get that?
You’ll make yourself right. Same thing happens in relationships. How many of you were really peeling off some layers right now, you guys? We’re gonna peel off some layers and step into some honesty. I mean, you’ve been doing a great job. How many of you in relationships have said, “I will not have a healthy relationship. I will not have a long-time relationship, a lifetime relationship.” Raise your hands up high, not shy. One hand up, two hands up, two hands up and stand up. So the conversation goes across the board. Look around the room so you see that you’re what? Not alone. Okay, great. Thank you for your honesty.
So your belief system is your belief system, okay? How many of you guys have a limited belief around finances that you wrote down? You wrote it down. Okay, great. Thank you. Put your hands down. How many have a limiting belief system around relationship that you wrote down? Okay. May I have a mic up here? May I have a mic?
How many of you guys have a limiting belief system around your health that you wrote down? Look around. If your hand goes up, look around, so you get to see that you’re not alone. Okay, great. Joe, would you share with me what your limiting belief system is? Stand up, please. Turn around to the audience. My limiting belief, perfect. Take a deep breath and just let it out.
My limiting belief is I have to do it on my own.
How many of you share that? One hand up, two hands up, two hands up and stand up. On a chair, yes. Look around. Let them know what?
You’re not alone.
Tell them again.
You’re not alone.
Doesn’t that feel good? Yes. Take a deep breath. Thank you so much. Give him some love, yeah. Evelyn. Evelyn? Right behind you. My limiting belief.
My limiting belief is that I can’t be me and be successful and happy, that I have to hide who I really am. No one pays attention to me. I’m invisible, unnoticed.
Raise your hand if that's you. Some of you guys wanna stand on the chair, huh. Look around. What do we tell her?
You’re not alone.
What do we tell her?
You’re not alone.
Great. Thank you. Give her some love. Thank you so much. So now, now, if we just begin to reprogram that thinking, reprogram that conversation, whether we believe it or not yet doesn’t matter. But what if we just lay a new track like we go in the studio, like all the music artists do, we go in the studio and say, “You know what, that track doesn’t work for me. That track doesn’t work for me.” So let's just say that that track doesn’t work for me.
That track doesn’t work for me.
Say it again?
That track doesn’t work for me.
Tell your neighbor?
That track doesn’t work for me.
That's the truth, right?
Yes!
So now, write down the truth and what works for you as it relates to that same topic. Now, listen. Wait, wait, before you do it. Don’t write down a paragraph. Don’t give me a paragraph. It needs to be succinct because it needs to be something you can always go back to. It can’t be long. It needs to be powerful and quick so that you can pull on it. It could become your push the button, then you say it.
Push the button and you say it because you’ve been listening to this old belief for a long time, so you need to have something easily accessible, that you can remember easily, so you can begin to lay that new track on an ongoing basis. And we’re quantum leap your efforts today. Watch what we do. We’re gonna quantum leap your efforts.
So I’m gonna give you 30 seconds to write a succinct, clear, powerful, and quick line on what your new belief system is like, and all through this weekend and all through as you’re on your journey, you keep reminding yourself of that. Yes? Thirty seconds.
[Pause]
Five seconds. You have it? Yes yes? Does that feel good? Say, “I’ve found my new track.”
I’ve found my new track.
“I’ve created my new track.”
I’ve created my new track.
“I choose this conversation.”
I choose this conversation.
“I choose this belief.”
I choose this belief.
Now, that's wonderful, and I wish that would be enough for you. I wish we could go snap, you’re changed. Right? Don’t you wish that? The reality is you’re gonna need some support, you’re gonna need some people to help you. So here’s what I wanna do. Right where you are, we’re gonna keep the people, the two people on each side of you, if you’re sitting in the middle, those on the edge, the two people to your left, two people to your right, they’re your angels. They’re your angels. They’re your angels.
These two people are about to do something amazing for you. I want you to get in groups of three, and really just the people sitting right around you. Get in groups of three. Identify who they are. They need to be close to you. Get in groups of three. Find your three. Find your three. Find your three. Find your three. Find your three. Alright, if you’re in a set of two, then stay in that set of two. If you’re in a set of two, stay in that set. Why don’t you guys come, and can you guys come up here and just kind of sit up here?
Alright. So now, these angels are gonna help to reprogram your thinking. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Okay. It’s gonna require some trust, so say, “I trust.”
I trust.
“I am open…”
I am open…
“...and available…”
…and available…
“…so that…”
…so that…
“… I grow…”
…I grow…
“…today…”
…today…
“…like now.”
…like now.
“Like now.”
Like now.
“I’m ready.”
I’m ready.
“Right now.”
Right now.
“The best time…”
The best time…
“…is now.”
…is now.
“Yes yes?”
Yes yes!
So, now your new way of thinking. Your new way of thinking. I’m gonna have you guys position yourselves sort of like this. Would Sylvia and Rodney, would the three of you guys come up here? Come onstage. Good. Come onstage. I’m gonna have you guys position yourselves in seating like this. We’re going to have, Rodney, you come on this side, and Di? Okay. Di will be right here.
So this is how it will look. Sylvia is in the middle, and she’s gonna state her new choice of thinking. What’s your new choice of thinking? Okay. So that means, I wanna shift that to the positive, right? Okay? “I am the perfect person for the job.” Doesn’t that feel better? Okay. So, “I’m the perfect person for the job.”
So then, Di and Rodney will say in her ear, “You are the perfect person for the job.” Now, they’re being kind and they’re whispering. No, no, no. That's not how we rolling. So, mic up here, if we can have a mic. So she’s gonna say it strong. Oh, thank you so much. It’s already here. So Sylvia’s gonna say, “I am the perfect person for the job,” and then Di and Rodney are gonna say, “You are the perfect person for the job,” convincing her. Ready, set, go.
I am the perfect person for the job.
You are the perfect person for the job!
Okay, I got it.
Right. And then, you’re gonna keep doing that over and over and over and over again, and all of a sudden, Sylvia’s gonna keep saying, all of a sudden something’s gonna happen to you. Somewhere in your body and your fiber, it’s gonna get it. You’re gonna stop resisting, saying, “But, but, my momma said, and my daddy said, and the people said, and but…” and you’re just gonna let it go.
And for some of you, it’s gonna show up in tears, because you’re just releasing it. For some of you, it’s gonna show up in hysterical laughter. You’re just gonna laugh and go, “Uh, this is crazy. I could just let it go and some of you are just gonna be “hmmm.” Whatever way it shows up is perfect. Does that make sense?
And those two angels that God has put with you in this moment are gonna help you get to that place, full of energy. Now, they need their eardrums, so leave them with them, okay? So would you give our model, give a hand. Alright. Decide who’s in the middle. Decide who’s in the middle. Decide who’s in the middle. Don’t flip a coin. Don’t argue about it. Just make a decision. Five, four, three, two, one.
Your attention, please. Person who’s in the middle, I want you to make the declaration boldly twice, and then the people on the side, don’t say it. I just want you to hear them say it twice. Don’t start repeating it after them. They’re gonna say it twice, and then I’m gonna say stop. And then I’m gonna say start, and they’re gonna say it again a third time, and then that's when you come in, then they’ll say it again, then you come in, they’ll say it again, you come in, they’ll say it again.
At some point I’m just gonna raise my hand slowly, and it’s not for the person in the center to look. It’s for the people on the side to just start peeking at me after a while, and when I raise my hands you’re just gonna start lowering your voice, still chanting it to them, but in a lower voice. Yes? You are going to raise this roof off of this hotel. Yes? So, new belief system. Person in the center, your new belief system is, ready, set, go! Two times!
[Audience members talking]
And, stop. Aaand…stop. Now, begin to go all together, your partners, ready, set, go!
[Audience members talking]
Aaaaand, stop. Person in the center, say it one more time with boldness. Make some noise! Whoo! Alright. Alright!
Now, shift to the person on the left. You get in the center now. It’s your turn in the hot seat/love seat. You’re now in the hot seat/love seat. You in the center? Alright, you ready? You ready? You ready?
Yes!
You ready?
Yes!
Today is your day. “Today is your day.”
Today is my day.
“Today you adopt the new belief system.”
Today I adopt the new belief system.
“This is my day.”
This is my day.
“I am forever…”
I am forever…
“…transformed…”
…transformed…
“…like right now.”
…like right now.
So your new belief system, say it twice, and then just go into it. Once I say it twice, partners you immediately begin to go back and forth with them. Ready, set, go!
[Audience members talking]
Aaaaaand stop. Say it one more time, in the center! Make some noise! Aaand shift. Aaaand shift. Shift to the center. Shift to the center, you on the final person. You on the final person. Limiting belief, say it twice, and then you angels get to work.
Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you guys, you might need some tissue. Yes? They’re passing out tissue. Do not allow it to distract you. Just put your hand up or look around or use your sleeve, okay? It’s all good, just do the work. Do the work. This is the good work, right? Alright. So if you’re really in need of tissue, start raising your hand. I see you guys waving for it now.
Alright, person in the center, two strong times, and then angels you kick in and be their wings for the next two minutes. Ready, and, go!
[Audience members talking]
Louder! Louder! Louder! Louder! Aaaaand stop. Person in the center, tell me one more time, what is it? Make some noise! Have fun! Tell your partner that they’re awesome! Yes yes yes! Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Is that your new belief?
Yes yes!
Can you own it?
Yes!
Is it yours?
Yes!
Yes?
Yes!
Yes?
Yes!
Yes?
Yes!
Now?
Now!
Now?
Now!
Now?
Now!
Now!
Now!
Now!
Now!
It’s yours.
It’s mine!
It’s yours!
It’s mine!
Yes, whoooo! High five somebody! High five somebody! [Chuckling] Yes! Yes! Anybody ready for a breakthrough?
Yes!
Anybody ready for a breakthrough?
Yes!
Is it time for a breakthrough?
Yes!
Have you been carrying some old things that it’s just time to let it go?
Yes!
Are there some things waiting on you that it’s time for you to grab a hold?
Yes!
Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Is now the best time?
Yes!
Is now the best time?
Yes!
Is there a better time other than now?
No!
Did you get it?
Yes!
Did you get it?
Yes!
Did the reprogramming work?
Yes!
Turn to your neighbors and say, “I got it!”
I got it!
I got it.
I got it!
This time, I got it. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Whooo! Feels good, huh? It feels good? Great. Find a seat anywhere right there because we’re wrapping up, so I don’t wanna spend a lot of time doing little things like trying to find a seat that really doesn’t belong to anyway because they’re the hotel’s. “Oh, that's my chair over there.” “No.” [Laughing]
Okay, so breathe in that new truth. Breathe in that new truth. Anything else that you tell yourself about that topic is a lie, and when you feel yourself slingshotting back to that old thought, say, “Oh, no. I have found my truth. I have found my truth.”
And the cool thing about it is that you gave it to you, that I didn’t come up here and serve you your truth. I just created the space for you to discover it. That's what coaching is about, is just creating a space for you to maybe go to an uncomfortable place so you can get to a more comfortable place. Does it feel good? Doesn’t it feel good? It feels awesome!
You know, there are a few people that I just saw, you know, while they were going through it, you could see the breakthrough occurring. You could see the breakthrough occurring. Linda, come here. See, breakthroughs are supposed to be shared. Give her some love.
[Audience claps and cheers]
Come up here. Come up right there. What did you discover? Because the whole time you were talking, I could see it trying to come out, and you were holding on, and then something just released. So what was the limiting belief, and what did you step into? My limiting belief, what’s that? Oh, wait. They told me to turn it on, honey, and I still... Hello.
My limiting belief was that I was not smart or good enough to be really successful.
Before you go any further, does she have company?
[Audience members standing up and cheering]
So what do we tell her?
You’re not alone!
Okay, great. And then, what was the breakthrough? Take a deep breath and take it in still.
I am really successful in all areas of my life.
[Audience clapping and cheering]
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Thank you.
Welcome. Welcome to your breakthrough. Give her some more love.
[Audience clapping and cheering]
So, now we begin to look—thank you, guys, and have a seat. Doesn’t that feel good? Feels good to have a breakthrough. Today is a great day for a breakthrough, yes? I saw you having a breakthrough, too, Joe, didn’t you? You let it go, didn’t you? How many of you guys felt the shift? You felt the shift. You felt the shift. You felt the shift or you felt the shift. Okay. Great, great. That's a breakthrough. Don’t go back and grab that old belief again. Keep it where it is, yes?
So, you know, once you release a limiting belief, then there's space for everything else. Yes? Once you let it go, then there’s space for everything else. Once you create a space in your heart, in your mind, in your soul, in your bank account, in your house, in your relational areas, then the right things, the things you say you want, will have room to show up. Right now, they’re like Double Dutch saying, “I’m waiting, I’m waiting, I’m waiting.”
Let me show you energy shift. Most of you have said before, “I’m just waiting. I’m waiting. I’m waiting.” And when you say that, the universe says something. So on the count of three, you be you and I’ll just play like I’m the universe for now, right? Okay? Watch this. On the count of three, you say, “I’m waiting,” and I’ll be the universe. One, two, three.
I’m waiting!
I’m waiting.
I’m waiting!
I’m waiting.
I’m waiting!
I’m waiting.
I’m waiting!
I’m waiting.
I’m waiting!
Now, let's try this. On the count of three, you say, “I’m ready.”
I’m ready.
I’m ready!
I’m ready!
I’m ready!
I’m ready!
I’m ready!
I’m ready!
I’m ready!
I’m ready!
I’m ready!
I’m ready!
Now, on the count of three, you wanna just say, “Right now.” One…
Right now!
See, y’all don’t even wait for me to count to three anymore. On the count of three, “right now.” One, two, three.
Right now!
Right now!
Right now!
Right now!
Right now!
Right now!
Right now!
Right now!
Right now!
Right now!
Right now!
Right now!
Right now!
Okay. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Yes yes?
Yes yes!
The same energy happens when you say, “Later.” Try later. Say later.
Later.
Okay, later. That has a different feeling, doesn’t it? Okay, choose your conversations. Conversations will manifest in your life. They have to. Your life is a physical manifestation of the conversation that's going on in your head. Yes?
Yes!
Your feelings will form, your behaviors will form, your actions will make your life be whatever it is. Make sure you look at the paint that's on the wall. How are you feeling about what you do? How are you feeling?
Awesome!
How are you feeling?
Awesome!
Do you love that new belief?
Yes!
Do you love that new belief?
Yes!
So I have to tell you, you know, in a former life, I was an athlete. In a former life, I was an athlete, and I loved doing sports. I loved swimming the 400 freestyle. But I had a problem. I would always, always come in dead last. Say dead last.
Dead last.
Now, say it like you’d say it if you were talking about me and I wasn’t around. Say, “Dead last.”
Dead last.
You know, like, “Girl, she came in dead last.” You know how you say it? And because I’d always come in dead last, I’d get this thing called honorable mention. Oh, Rodney, you know about the honorable mention. Oh, he just fell out laughing. You know what that means, don’t you? For the [laughing]—I see your two hands up [laughing].
So I would come in dead last, I’d get an honorable mention, and what an honorable mention means, for those of you who don’t know is an honorable mention is a ribbon that says, “Thank you for showing up.” Thank you for participating. You didn’t do diddly-squat, but we sure appreciate you for showing up and giving everybody else somebody to beat. We didn’t want you to leave here empty-handed, so here’s honorable mention. Y’all come back now, you hear?” [Laughing] That's what honorable mention meant.
So I’d get an honorable mention all the time, and my mother didn’t know what honorable mention meant, so she would place the…on the wall at home. So it was nicknamed by my brother as “Lisa’s loser shrine.” So, you know, [chuckling] me or something happened, it just didn’t work. Has anyone ever been to that place where you want it but it’s just not working? You know what that feels like, yeah.
So, and this is to the resilient souls in the room. This is who I’m talking to. This story is for you. This story is for those of you who got up one more time, who’s doing it again, who’s fighting in, who’s making it happen no matter what. This story’s for you. This story is for you, and I invite you to come online with me, join my online community at lisa-nichols.com, and let's keep our stories going. I love to hear your stories. I read the stories, the resiliency stories.
So, this particular day, I was tired and I wanted to quit, so I went to my grandmother’s house because we were having a big swim meet the next day against our rival swim team, and I was scared because I kept coming in what?
Dead last.
Right. So I went to my grandmother’s house and said, “Grandma, I’m tired of trying, giving my all and nothing happening. I wanna quit.” She said, “Quit?” I was like, “Y-yeah, quit, ma’am.” See, I didn’t realize that my grandmother raised eight children and 18 grandchildren and she really didn’t know the definition of quit. But at 15, I was willing to explain it to her. “I wanna quit.”
So, my grandmother said, “Quit?” She said, “Baby, sit down right here. Let me explain something to you.” I said, “Oh, she gonna do that grandmama whammy on me.” She said, “You’re only 15 years old so you may not know this.” She said, “You are a winner. Quitters never win and winners never quit.” She said, “And you may have forgotten that, so let me remind you.”
She said, “Your ancestors, they come from a long way, and they had a whole lot of hardship, and many people in the era that they came through didn’t make it. But yours, yours, yours, they did.” She said, “You’re built from the best.” She said, “Your grandparents, they didn’t have cell phones and email and Internet. They didn’t have, some of them didn’t have cars, and they still made it. Their fingers burst with blisters and blood from being in the fields all day. Their toes ached. They worked from sunup to sundown, and they will never tell you those things, they just did it for you. Quitters never win and winners never quit.”
She said, “Oh, you may get tired, you may get weary, you may get frustrated, you may get confused, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re a winner.” She said, “So I just wanna remind you.” She said, “Horses are strong, stallions are stronger, but the Arabian is the strongest of all. You are the Arabian.” She said, “Baby, you’re too strong to quit. It’s not in your blood to quit.” She said, “So you go out there and you swim that swim meet tomorrow, and grandma’s gonna say the same prayer she always says for you.” She said, “God, thank you for giving my baby the victory before she ever starts the race.”
I said, “Didn’t I come over here to quit?” I left. The next day, I showed up in the swim meet and I saw the worst sight ever. The worst sight ever: My entire family, “Lisa! Lisa!” in the bleachers. “We love you, girl! We got your back. Grandmama called us.” [Laughing] I went over, I went to the judge, I said, “Oh God.” There's only one thing worse than coming in dead last. It’s coming in dead last with what?” Family.
So I go over to the judge. I said, “Judge, my name is Lisa. I’m here for the 15- and 16-year-old 400 freestyle. Can I just get my honorable mention now?” He said, “Oh, I’m sorry. You missed your heat. They already swam. But you can swim with the 17- and 18-year-olds if you want.” “Uh, no.”
He told my coach, “She can swim with the 17- and 18-year-olds.” She said, “Oh, great. Let her do that.” I said, “Coach, no.” She goes, “You need the experience.” I said, “I know how to lose.” She said, “No, no, no. Trust me.” So I get on deck, and there's a big difference between a 15-year-old girl and an 18-year-old girl. At 15, I was like, “Hi! How are you? You’re gonna kill me. Hi.” At 18, “Bring it on.”
So I stood there, and I would never forget this moment. They said, “Swimmers, on your mark...” I said, “I know what I want, but I don’t quite see it all the time. I don’t quite see how to get it.” Is that any of you? “I don’t quite see how to get it.” I said, “Well, grandma, you said what I don’t see with my eyes, I just simply have to know like I know like I know.”
“Set…” “God, I don’t know how we gonna do this one. Like you may not know all the answers of how you gonna do the next season of your life.” I said, “But I’m gonna give it my all, because quitters never win and winners never quit.” “Pow!” The gun went off. “Quitters never win, winners never quit. Quitters never win, winners never quit. Quitters never win, winners never quit. Quitters never win…”
I drew my right on back, there was one girl even with me. I said, “Oh, today, she’s coming in dead last. Quitters never win, winners never quit. Quitters never win, winners never quit.” I did the flip turn, turned around, “Quitters never win, winners never quit. Quitters never win, winners never quit.” I hit the wall, I looked to my left, there was no one there. I looked to my right, (chuckles) there was no one there.”
But you know how you have that limiting negative belief system, that chatter in your head? You know that chatter? I said, “Man, I’m so slow, they done got off the pool.” How many of you would have thought that? I said, “I’m getting slower every day, good Lord!” I turned around, looked at my coach with that sorrowful I-did-my-best look, and she said, “Lisa, look! Look! Look behind you! Look!” I said, “What?”
She said, “Look!” I turned around. The first person had just hit the halfway mark. But you know that chatter. I said, “Coach! Was I supposed to swim three laps?” How many would have done that? Come on, tell the truth. Tell the truth. Yes? Yes? Yes? My coach ran over to me. She said, “Lisa! What did you do differently? I’ve been training with you all week. What did you do differently?”
I said, “Uh, I swam, swam, I was breathing…oh, oh, I just chanted something differently that my grandmother told me yesterday.” She said, “What was it?” I said, “That quitters never win and winners never quit.” She said, “Well, how is that different?” I said, “Oh, all the other times, I was chanting ‘I don’t wanna lose. I don’t wanna lose. I don’t wanna lose. I don’t wanna lose. I don’t wanna lose. Please not dead last. Please not dead last. Beat one person. Beat one person.”
I changed the conversation, that was it, in my head. So today was about just looking at your conversation, looking at how you feel about them, and getting an opportunity to change them so that they’re in alignment with everything that you say you want, because it’s waiting on you. It’s waiting on you. It’s waiting on you. Yes yes? Yes yes?
My life has been truly, truly blessed. I mean, I am so filled with gratitude at times tears just come streaming out of my eyes. From surfing in Maui with my son to standing on a stage in front of thousands in South Africa, to standing in the jail cell that Nelson Mandela spent time in, to being in front of thousands, to being with Oprah, to being with Larry King, to living my dream, to calling this my work. This is a day at work? This is a day at work with benefits?
Did you get value out of today? Did you get value? One hand up, two hands up. Did you get value out of today? Did you get value out of it? Great. Did it start something going for you? Yes? Did it get you thinking?
Yes!
Did it get you feeling?
Yes!
Did you feel like a jumpstart?
Yes!
Yes yes. Well, here’s what I know. A coach will have you say things that you do not want to say. They will have you do things that you definitely don’t want to do so that you can be the person you say you want to be. So take a deep breath, clear your mind, you can keep things in your hand but just clear your mind. I ask you, what I may say to you now may disarm you a little bit, it may make you feel a little uncomfortable, but I want you to move to the comfort because there is comfort in it.
If we were celebrating your life, right now, today, that we just have to look at your life, your entire life. You have reached the end of your line, there's nothing else you could do, you’ve done all you can do in this life. I ask you, when you’re lying there on that bed and you’re on your transition out, what is it that you’ll say?
I don’t think you’ll say, “Man, I should have had one more meeting.” I just don’t think you’ll say, “Gosh, I should have made 10,000 more dollars, a 150,000. I should have made just a few million more.” I don’t think you’ll say that, do you? I don’t think you’ll say, “Man, I should have just attended 17 more workshops. That would have did it. That would have did it.”
I want you to feel me and feel yourself with this, and I want you to just raise one hand or two hands, or raise two hands and stand up if this is you so that your community knows that they’re not alone. I think that if you’re on your transition bed you may say something like, “Gosh, I should have told her I loved her more.” I see your hands.
“I should have told her I loved her more. I should have told him I love him more, I appreciate him more. I know they didn’t do it the way I recommend it, they should have, but I love them anyway. Man, do I love them. With all their quirky behaviors, I love them. She gets on my last nerve, and I love her.” Thank you. Put your hands down.
I think on your transition bed, you may say something like, “Man, I should have played more. I should have played more. I should have played more.” I think if you’re on your transition bed, I think you may say something like, “I should have forgiven sooner, quicker, faster. I should have forgiven. I should have just let it go. What was I holding on to anyway? I don’t even remember what I was mad at.” Thank you. Put your hands down.
I think on your transition bed, you may say something like, “I should have apologized sooner, quicker, faster. I was too stuck on being right.” I see your hands. “What does right mean anyway?” I think on your transition bed, you may say something like, “Oh, I should have tried love again. I should have let someone in my space to fill my soul, to let my heart touch his heart, touch her heart again. I should have trusted love for what it could be, not for what it once was.” I see your hands.
I think on your transition bed, you may say something like, “I should have played bigger. I should have played bigger. I should have been willing to risk more, play more, work more. I should have played bigger. Man, I didn’t wanna have this much left with me on my way out. I should have gave it all.” I see your hands up. I see you. “I should have gave it all. What was I holding on to it for? So I didn’t want to make a fool of myself? I feel like a fool right now taking it with me.” Yes yes? I hear you, Mark. Yes yes?
I just think, I don’t know, I can’t predict the future, but I just think we might be having this conversation. I think on your transition bed you may say something like—God bless you. I think on your transition bed you may say something like, “Man, I should have set my champion free in that room. I should have unleashed my champion on them.”
“See, because my champion has been in there so long saying, ‘Would you just let me out? If you let me out, I’m gonna help you change the world! And I’m not ever going back in. I’m not ever going back in. I’m not ever going back in. I’m your gift, and I was the gift that you were supposed to give to the world. I was that gift. No one could have given me to the world better than you, and now I gotta go with you.”
That gift will say, “I’m not ready to go. I’m not ready to die. I wanna be given to the children. I wanna be given to the mothers and to the fathers. I wanna be given to the senior citizens. I wanna be given to the generation that says they need direction. They don’t know how to say, ‘I need direction,’ but everything in their fiber says, ‘I need direction.’ You were the person. You were the person to make it happen. Why am I going with you? Don’t let me die with you.”
Do I have your attention? I have good news. I have real good news. I have fabulous news. You are not on your transition bed. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Yes yes?
Yes yes!
You are very much alive. You are so alive, you’re more alive than most to be here. Do you get that? You are more alive than most to be here. You will do more work this weekend on you than most people will do in their entire life. You are so very alive. You are so poised and positioned to give that gift to the world, so now it’s just about being in action. And I think you’re absolutely awesome to do that. Yes yes?
Yes yes!
Yes yes?
Yes yes!
So as I close, my time with you has come to a close in this format, but believe me when I say, “I am your sister in prosperity and in possibility, and we will meet again. You know that.”